The Journal of Crime & Punishment
Letter from Bishop of Wellington
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SOFTWARE PIRACY
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The Journal of Crime & Punishment
So, who are some of these other people I claim I have been in the past?
Well, in no particular order, how about
Neil Armstrong? Also deceased, but the first man on the moon. It was a real hard task to get on the team, because of the radiation exposure you get in space, and they didn't want somebody who isn't "one of them".
Michael Jackson? Of course it is easy to claim because he is dead and can't confirm it. There was an event (the famous clothing malfunction) when Michael was also his sister Janet.
Lance Armstrong. Again the Arm-strong/ strong situation where I insisted that muscle structure be associated with strength, and this takes us all the way back to Japan, and the making of steel swords, but more of that elsewhere. Lance is in disgrace these days but I reject any illegal activity, or steroid taking, despite what he says or what has been said about him. If all cyclists were allowed to take steroids, all would have to take them. Removing blood and putting it back was not illegal at the time, and not the same as taking steroids. My legs still ache at the thought of biking up a steep hill. Mind power, and determination, not drugs got Lance to the top. Doping, or the removing of some blood, putting it into refrigeration, and transfusing it back just prior to the race was not illegal at the time, and this is all Lance did, although many in his team were taking illegal drugs and masking agents, so he got their partly on their performance, but most of the other teams at the time were doing the same thing.
Tenzing Norgay. First man, along with Sir Edmond Hillary, to climb Mt Everest. Now deceased. Also Mallory, the first man to actuall climb Everest. There is a bit more to the Hillary story.
Prince. The man formerly known as Prince.
Graham Norton. TV talk show host.
David Beckham. A top footballer, and husband of Posh Spice, Victoria Beckham. Again I claim that she is the same person as the Queen, despite the Queen being married to Prince Phillip. It is a philosophical argument which I will persue on the next page. I also claim that somebody (Mathew Ridge) took on the body shape of David Beckham, and "made love" to Victoria when her children (Brooklyn) were conceived. David had no choice about this and was forced to take a back seat. I have written to Charles with my allegation, but he isn't interested.
Andrew Parker Bowles.He is the former husband of Camilla Parker Bowles, who is now the Duchess of Cornwall as the wife of the Prince of Wales.
Bruce Russell. Late nigh talkback host.
Russell Crowe. He not only made the film Gladiator, this is the body of the man who starred in the original (real lfe) production.
Dr Phil McGraw, television psychologist.
Creflo Dollar. Television evangelist.
Jamie Oliver. TV chef.
Gordon Ramsay. Chef.
Kevin Haliday. Neighbour. Cathy had two children, a daughter and a son, and didn't want to get married, but Kevin had a good job and insisted. Unfortunately Kevin is sometimes played by wife of another neighbour, Nicky Goldsworthy. This legal case goes all teh way back to Tudour times, and Henry VIII. I also played an octopus in one adventure.
Dan (Haliday-son of Cathy). Has a daughter, Lily, who will probably be my mother (Mary) one day. He thinks that I am a very old man.
Brian Goldsworthy. Neighbour, married to Nicky. He has no idea about Nicky and Kevin.
Luka Bogdanovic, Son of Sladja and Goran, and brother of Vanji. Always puts a positive spin on events, and loves and protects his little brother, (from his father).
Gus Lotz. Garage mechanic and husband of Christina, father of Nina Stewart.
Kelvin Cruickshank. Psychic medium.
John Marshall. High school friend. Deceased.
Ringo Starr. Drummer for the Beatles.
There are more, some I do not need to add as nobody needs to know.
And it is not just men. These are some of the women I can recall.
Marilyn Monroe. She is deceased also, but I have a few things to reveal about her life. It is possible that she was also the mother of singer Blondie, but I'm not certain the dates match.
Venus Williams. Not only was I Venus, her sister Serena is most likely another personality of the Queen, Elizabeth, or Victoria. Only she can confirm it, and who stands in for her when she can't be there herself.
Joan Jett. I saw her in concert when I was in Seattle in about 1981.
Nigella Lawson. Despite her marriage. I can confirm that I would not have a sexual relationship with a man, so I don't know who does this for me.
Judge Judy.
Kerrie Woodham. Not her whole life, just a television series called Ready Steady Cook, which she still owns the rights to.
Tony Bennett, Lady Gaga. Again, not his whole life, but there are many men who are Tony Bennett, like there are many Mathew Ridges. I was him for the time that the did a naked picture of Lady Gaga, and I was also Lady Gaga for that painting, purely because I didn't want him to see her naked. Her song, Dance Dance Dance (with our hands abouve our head, as Jesus said) was an actual song that Jesus taught to some of the women, and which I had forgotten. There is a Judas connection, but Judas was supposed to claim the 30 pieces of silver, and Jesus instructed him to do it so he did not "betray" Jesus.
Pappa Jessica Fresh. Jessica Clark from Willits California.Tormented victim of paedophilia by her father. Has two beautiful daughters, but is terrified that her father will prey on them when they are old enough. Desperately wants him locked away, but is a multiple personality, so has no credibility. There is also a little more to this story, because my Grandfather's own daughter, my own daughter and Auntie Jess has the same body (face and features) so Jess is adding two more daughters to the family, but the other Jess' family (my cousins) do not believe it. How do I know? Because I have lived her life.